A Letter from Me

Dear mamas,

The year 2015 was the worst year and yet the most life changing year of my life. I was arrested for a DUI that August. Prior to that my marriage was struggling and I was struggling to be happy with myself and my life. I had never been arrested before and when I tell you it opened my eyes, it definitely made me reevaluate my life. I wasn’t happy and so I was taking part in other things in order to “cope” with my life. I was drinking a lot, I joined a “pyramid business”, I was flirting with men for attention, all while still attempting to be a good mother to my daughter. I realized that I was going to need to make some major changes if I wanted my life to change. I NEEDED my life to change. I hit my rock bottom and if I didn’t make some courageous moves, I was going to dig myself a bigger hole. Life is too short to be unhappy and my daughter is too precious to let down and didn’t deserve this example I was setting for her. I divorced my husband, quit the business that took me further from myself, and became focused on raising my daughter and becoming who I really was. Getting back to me, who I used to be.

In my marriage I lost myself. I married a person who was not like me. We didn’t have the same goals, we didn’t like the same things, we grew up in different dynamics of families, we had different priorities, and ultimately grew far apart. Sure, we were good friends and were comfortable with one another but that is not enough. Love alone is not enough. Because we were different I slowly and without awareness adapted from who I was, to who he was, until I no longer recognized myself. It happened so slowly I never saw myself changing until I was gone.

After my divorced I decided that I would no longer base my decisions on others but follow my spirit and what I wanted for MY life. I decided to date a guy who by all others’ opinions and expectations was wrong for me. First, he was my best-friend’s big brother (a no-no), then he was the type of guy my parents would not approve of physically (not materialistic or clean-cut), and he had three kids. But I went with my spirit and dated him anyway. We spent hours on the phone daily. He was intelligent, funny, goofy, interesting, and so much like me. Sex was and still is very passionate. We liked the same things, do the same things, wanted the same things, he was an excellent father to his children, and most of all, he showed me love like no man I had ever been with before. We got pregnant early in the relationship and again rather than get an abortion because others would not approve, I followed my spirit and had my… our baby. Marli Marie Sivels. A beautiful, red-headed, smart girl. Everyone loves her. Today, me and Milton are engaged and scheduled to move our families in together next month.

It has been an adventure already and I am still very happy and become more and more fulfilled in my life as I continue to make decisions for myself, and embrace who I am, follow my spirit and express me. No longer do I care what others want or who I will disappoint. In the time that Milton and myself have been dating, it has allowed me the space to rediscover myself and what I truly want out of life. It has made me reevaluate myself as a mother, friend, daughter, companion, human-being. Life is short and I want to enjoy every moment of it while being the best version of myself.

My goal now is to help other women such as myself who have found themselves struggling at life, struggling at defining and experiencing the authentic self. NIA LLC is a organization whose goal is to help mothers, whether you are single, divorced, married, in a relationship, whatever, be able to embrace motherhood while still being you sincerely and not feeling bad about taking care of you. I could have felt bad about my divorce and breaking up my family, but because I am happier I am able to be a better mom, a great mom for my daughters. There are women who are stuck in jobs they hate, with men who treat them less than, in unfulfilling marriages, or just not happy with where they are in life and don’t know what it means to love themselves. Our children sense this, and many times it comes out in the way we parent our children. We are not performing at our best. Our children deserve our best.

I look forward to helping you all on your own unique journey to a fulfilling life and becoming the best versions of yourself. Let us gain the wisdom and support we need, make courageous moves, and begin to “Live life on purpose, mama!”

One Love,
Alesia